Between Here and There: How Expats Can Thrive Through Uncertainty
One of the least talked about challenges of expat life is living in the “in-between.”
It’s that liminal space where you’ve left one version of your life behind but haven’t yet stepped fully into the next. You’re no longer who you were back home, but you’re not yet fully at ease in your new environment either. It’s a season filled with question marks, shifting ground, and a lot of waiting: sometimes for clarity, sometimes for paperwork, sometimes for your heart to catch up with the changes around you.
Uncertainty is uncomfortable. Most of us try to avoid it, manage it, or outrun it. But as any expat eventually learns, uncertainty is part of the deal.
The trick isn’t to banish it. The trick is to learn how to thrive in the midst of it.
Why Uncertainty Feels Heavier Abroad
Uncertainty feels magnified when you live abroad. Back home, waiting or not knowing might have been buffered by a network of friends, familiar routines, and cultural shorthand that made you feel anchored. But abroad, uncertainty often hits on multiple levels at once.
You might not know how long you’ll stay in your current posting, whether your job will renew your contract, if the friendships you’re building will last longer than a season, or whether you’ll eventually feel “at home” in your adopted country.
Even the small unknowns can feel bigger abroad: Will the package you ordered ever arrive? Will this train strike cancel your trip? Will you be able to explain what you need at the pharmacy in the right words?
Add in the fact that many expats are high-achieving, plan-oriented individuals, and you get a recipe for frustration. We like to know where we’re going and how to get there. Uncertainty flips that desire on its head and forces us to live in the gray space.
Lessons From the “In-Between” Times
There’s a strange wisdom in the in-between seasons — the chapters where things aren’t quite settled yet. Most of us don’t see it while we’re in them. We just want to get to the other side. But looking back, those seasons often hold some of the richest lessons of expat life. Here are a few I’ve learned along the way:
The Pause Is Part of the Process
It’s tempting to think life abroad should be a continuous adventure — new places, new friends, new opportunities. But the truth is, there are pauses built into every big transition. They’re not mistakes or delays. They’re space.
Think of it like jet lag. Your body lands in a new place long before your energy and rhythms adjust. The same is true with life transitions: your mind and heart need time to catch up. The pause gives you that.
Identity Grows in the Gray
When nothing feels certain, you start to ask bigger questions: Who am I without my old job title? Without my old circle of friends? Without the familiar culture that once defined me?
It’s unsettling. But it’s also where identity deepens. Living in the in-between teaches you to separate who you are from the roles, routines, and external markers you once leaned on. That clarity may not come quickly, but it grows roots that last.
Uncertainty Teaches Flexibility (The Kind You Can’t Fake)
Expats often joke about being “adaptable,” but real flexibility isn’t just about trying new foods or learning how to navigate public transport. It’s about how you respond when life doesn’t go as planned.
Do you panic, or can you adjust? Do you freeze, or can you improvise? The in-between times stretch those muscles. They might not feel like growth in the moment, but they’re what make you resilient later.
The Emotional Landscape of the In-Between
The uncertainty of expat life isn’t just logistical. It’s deeply emotional.
You might feel restless (tired of waiting, itching for clarity), isolated (unsure who understands what you’re going through), anxious (worried about what the future holds), hopeful (catching glimpses of new possibilities), and/or exhausted (from carrying all those emotions at once).
If you’ve felt all of these in the span of one week (or even one day!), you’re not alone. It’s completely normal. Uncertainty stirs up emotions that don’t neatly fit into categories, and that can make it even harder to know how to move through it.
But here’s the thing: emotions are information. They show you where your attention is needed. Feeling restless might mean you need a project or routine to ground you. Feeling isolated might mean it’s time to reach out, even if only for a short coffee with someone new.
The goal isn’t to eliminate the emotions but to let them guide you toward what supports you.
Small Anchors That Help You Thrive
When the big picture feels uncertain, small anchors can keep you steady. These aren’t “fixes” but rather gentle supports that make the waiting less overwhelming.
Rituals: Morning coffee, evening walks, journaling, or even a Sunday market routine.
Body Care: Moving your body, resting when you need to, and eating foods that feel both nourishing and comforting.
Connection: Calling a friend back home, joining a group locally, or simply chatting with a neighbor.
Micro-Goals: Focus on what you can control — finishing a project, learning a new phrase in the local language, or planning a small outing.
These anchors don’t solve the uncertainty, but they remind you that you’re not powerless within it.
A Personal Example: Living Through Uncertainty
When I quit my pre-medical studies in the U.S. and moved to France in 2000 to join my then-French fiancé, I had no idea how much uncertainty would shape my life.
At first, I threw myself into learning the language. I enrolled at the Sorbonne for two years, eventually earning a degree in linguistics. By 2003, I landed a position at an international law firm, where I trained legal staff in IT systems. It felt like I had carved out a place for myself, and for a while, the path seemed steady.
But expat life has a way of pulling you into new chapters, whether you feel ready or not. By the end of 2009, I felt restless. I wasn’t sure what was next, only that I needed a change. So I left the stability of that career and went back to school to study copywriting. It was both exciting and unnerving…I’d traded predictability for possibility.
That leap carried me into a new world: advertising. In 2010, I started as a freelance copywriter and was eventually hired full-time at an international agency, creating campaigns for some of the world’s largest beauty brands. On paper, it looked like I had “made it.” But behind the scenes, uncertainty was never far away. The fast-paced world of advertising demanded everything — until my health, my marriage, and eventually my sense of self started to unravel.
By 2023, after multiple surgeries, a divorce, and burnout, I stepped away. Once again, I was standing in the in-between: unsure of what would come next, but very sure I couldn’t keep living the way I had been.
That pause became the start of something new. I realized I wanted to help others navigate the very uncertainty I had lived through — not by eliminating it, but by finding ways to create stability, balance, and meaning inside it. That decision led me to become a Certified Integrative Wellness and Life Transition Coach, supporting expats who are also learning to live — and thrive — through their own in-between seasons.
The Bigger Truth About the In-Between
Here’s what I’ve learned: the in-between times aren’t detours. They’re part of the path.
Uncertainty feels uncomfortable because we’re wired to crave clarity and closure. But the in-between stretches are where resilience grows, where identity deepens, and where unexpected opportunities take root.
If you’re an expat living in uncertainty right now, know this: you don’t have to “solve” it all today. You just have to keep showing up — with small anchors, open curiosity, and patience for the process.
The life you’re building abroad won’t come together in a single day. But every uncertain step is still a step forward.
The Lesson in Uncertainty
Expat life is full of question marks. That’s not a flaw in the system — it’s the nature of stepping into a bigger world.
The lesson in uncertainty isn’t about learning to love not knowing. It’s about discovering that you can still live fully, even when clarity hasn’t arrived.
One day, you’ll look back on the season you’re in now and realize it wasn’t wasted time. It was the space where you became stronger, more grounded, and more yourself.
And that’s the quiet gift of the in-between: it teaches you that even when the future is unclear, you’re still capable of thriving right where you are.
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Navigating Your Own In-Between Season?
As a Certified Integrative Wellness & Life Transition Coach, I support expats who are moving through uncertainty — career shifts, separation, relocation decisions, or simply the “messy middle” of life abroad. Together, we create tools, routines, and fresh perspectives that help you feel more grounded and confident, even when the future feels unclear.
Curious if coaching could support you too? Visit ThriveOnThrough.com to book your free discovery call today.
Because thriving abroad isn’t about having all the answers — it’s about learning how to live fully in the in-between.
For *free* daily expat encouragement, follow Thrive on Through on Facebook & Instagram.